New layouts, homework, and a song.

I like my new layout. Like.. a lot.
I think I'm going to binge on food and watch some TV.
Guess I'll do my homework too.

This was probably my song a few months ago.
Like.. it was made for me. Only with a few changes, since I'm not a lesbian.
She's got a really pretty voice, and she writes good catchy songs.
Check her outtttt.

The Western University presentation was today. The girl who lead it had the most annoying voice ever. I sat there the whole time texting Aaron dirty messages for my amusement, and tried to fill up Jen's inbox on her phone to be annoying. I'm not going to Western. They have a nice campus, good food, a vegetarian club, and a nice location; but they don't have my program, or anything else that interests me.

birthdays, universities, and jobs.

THIS is the exact time till my 18th birthday.
I'm pretty excited. I can't wait to tell my parents I'm coming back with a tattoo every time I go out. I mean, I won't actually come back with one, but there's something rebellious about just saying it.

So on Sunday I went to the University fair in Toronto. I walked up to the first school, Waterloo, and started talking to a guy from the arts department. Basically, our conversation went like this:

Me - Hi.
Him - Hi, can I help you?
Me - I'm not sure.
Him - What kind of program are you interested in?
Me - I don't know.
Him - PERFECT! The arts are good for that.

Then we talked a bit, and I started leaving the Waterloo stand. BUT, as I was leaving I noticed a sign that said "International Developlment". Well, I walked over there and found out a bit about it. Its definitely my first choice program now. I love it. They gave me some pretty cool stuff too. Next I went to Laurier, and talked to a girl about "Global Studies". That is basically the same thing. She's in her fourth year there taking Global Studies and I love the idea. My third choice is Guelph. But I really just want to get into Waterloo or Laurier.

I need a job. My mom has basically gotten me one at Coffee Culture, but I haven't taken it because I think it will ruin the idea of it for me. I think I'm going to give in though. I need money, and a new laptop.

Lets Get Back Into the Swing of Things

*WARNING* = This blog post will be a long one.

Alright, lets get you in the right mindset here.

I :

- am sitting in my pajama's (which consist of an old baseball jersey & track pants that should no longer be in my possession because of the illegal amount of holes in them).

- my hair is tied up in a rubber band because I was too lazy to get out of my chair and find a real one. (This will come back to haunt me later as I pull out not only the rubber band, but a chunk of my hair with it.)

- am listening to an acoustic cover of Lady Gaga's Love Game. Its not that bad. The harmonies are nice.

- am eating grilled cheese with gobs of ketchup, which I left on the stove too long, and is now burnt to a crisp. Alas, I am still eating it despite its blackness, and the fact that Mitchell has now turned me off to the thought of grilled cheese because of his dirty mind. Yes, grilled cheese is dirty.

- have my glasses on. They're a bit dirty, I need to clean them.

- keep taking these lame facebook quizzes. So far I've found out I'm a good girl, Chandler on Friends, and I should get a Celtic tattoo.

- am in the right mood for chocolate milk. A big glass. I might just go get decent and run to the store for some.

- also want a smile cookie. Its shocking. They're actually really good this year.

Yea, I'm just going to leave it at that.

I've decided I'm going to actually start blogging more, and writing down things that I'm thinking about. Lately Twitter gets most of what is on my mind, and if its not Twitter then I find myself fake blogging in my head.

I've got so much ready to pour from my fingertips, I just don't know how to start it.
Here we go.

So I've been on this huge That 70s Show binge lately. I used to watch this show every night before I went to bed, but that was when I went to bed at 11:30 like a healthy human being. I've missed how much I like this show.

*HOLD UP*

So, I started this blog 2 hours ago & then stopped because I had a bit of a fight with a friend. Well, that fight is over, & its all good. What have we concluded from this? I win at writing apology letters. I know you say yours was better, but it wasn't. Deep down you know, YOU KNOW, mine wins. :)

MOVING ON! I'm on a HUGE Paramore kick. Hayley's voice is so raw and real. I love it.

I also really love her hair. I'm seriously thinking about dying my hair bright red like hers. No, not seriously, I am almost positive that I am going to. The only thing is that I think that if I had bright red hair, my hair might look a little weird so long. That being said, I might chop a bit off. I'm just not sure if I want to yet.

Well, the plan 4 hours ago was to stay home all night and have a pity party while watching movies by myself.
Now I'm going to Marin's.
I better get ready.

Be prepared for hard core blogging later, I've still got so much on my mind

x

Yes, right.

"..and you're just you"

Hmm.. yes right. Well, thank you. That does explain it all.

Perfection

is this.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

ITS RAINING.

Finally.
It took like.. 3 weeks.
my life is complete.
for now at least.
oh god.
i might go for a walk now.

Sometimes

I wish I gave a shit about my appearance. I could probably look decent.

HELLO

hi marin.

NEED

I NEEED this shirt.

it will be mine.

Holly, I haven't seen you in a while.

"What I've found does the most good is just to get into a taxi and go to Tiffany's. It calms me down right away, the quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there, not with those kind men in their nice suits..."
- Holly Golightly

I think I'm going to go watch Breakfast at Tiffany's.

I used to have the whole first scene in the apartment memorized.

I miss her.

Newwwwwwwww

Favourite Song.

Bon Iver is amazing.

Dear Bon,

Why haven't I found you before?

Come on skinny love just last the year
Pour a little salt we were never here
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer

I tell my love to wreck it all
Cut out all the ropes and let me fall
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Right in the moment this order's tall

And I told you to be patient
And I told you to be fine
And I told you to be balanced
And I told you to be kind
And in the morning I'll be with you
But it will be a different kind
And I'll be holding all the tickets
And you'll be owning all the fines

Come on skinny love, what happened here?
Suckle on the hope in light brassieres
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Sullen load is full, so slow on the split

And I told you to be patient
And I told you to be fine
And I told you to be balanced
And I told you to be kind
And now all your love is wasted
And then who the hell was I?
And I'm breaking at the britches
And at the end of all your lines

Who will love you?
Who will fight?
Who will fall far behind?

No.

I'm not going to get on my hands and knees and beg you to forgive me.
I've told you I'm sorry.
I will not submit.
Obviously you know who I am, and what I've done before.
I will not submit.

Wow.

Wow, Fuck you.
Frustration is taking over me. This always happens.

I can't do this anymore. I'm choking up. My throat is closing. I hate it.

But its over.
Pour a little salt. We were never here.

You shooted my head.

... I "shooted" Bryce's Head.

Code.

As I was sitting here today, enjoying my ice cream cake left over from last night's birthday party, I heard a door open. After that sound of the door came tears. They became louder and louder. First of all, I never really know what to do when people cry. I like to be alone, and I get really embarrassed when people hear/see me cry. So naturally, I'm a little awkward around crying/upset people. After realizing this was my little sister, I proceeded to ask her what was wrong. Now in all reality I am a terrible person. I am the worst for comforting people when they're sad. I do nothing other than try to make them laugh. I don't go and embrace them. Its just not my thing. This makes for an awkward situation. I told her to eat cake. Yep. A whole cake.

Apparently, her best friend is now dating the boy she likes. WTF?! WHY DOES NO ONE KNOW ABOUT THE FRIENDSHIP CODE NOW A DAYS? I myself abide by it religiously. You just don't do that kind of thing.

I don't really have much to say.
I'm eating fake chicken at the moment. Its pretty good for being fake.
Tim Horton's later, after the stupid dog class thing my mom is making me go to.
Oh well, I'm over it.



I just want to party.

Timing,

This is perfect timing, like getting struck in the face by lightning.

I feel like

I'm stuck in the middle of everything.
In every aspect of my life right now.
I'm just stuck in the middle.

This makes me want to sing that cookie commercial song.

A Realization

I've come to the realization that I compare others to myself too much when it comes to trusting. Does that make sense?
I feel like I judge myself too much on what I'm holding back, so in turn others should too.
Yep.
That's my deal.

Water, Trust, & Travels

I need to start drinking water more often.
Its cleansing, apparently.
I'm trying this new don't eat snacks thing. Just breakfast and dinner. So far its just made me hungry. Oh well, I've continued on.

I don't feel like I've ever been able to fully trust anyone.
I'm not sure why, or how this came about.
I mean like.. in certain aspects of my life I trust people completely, but not in others. I find it easier to talk to people you don't know better than the ones you do. Its like I think they're going to judge me, and I'd rather not deal with all this drama so I just keep it in.
Maybe I should change that.

One of my teachers asked me the other day what I wanted to do with my life.
I told him I still didn't know, and I needed to figure out fast.
He told me I didn't need to and that I had all the time in the world. He told me I should just take a year off and travel next year.
I told him my parents didn't want me too, because they didn't think I would come back and go to university.
He told me he could see that because he didn't think I would either.


Its funny how people know you.

raaaaaindrops.

It hasn't rained in DAYS.

weird.