She Wants.

She said that she wanted to get high.
He took her to the tallest hill in town.
She said that she wanted to stay up all night and drink.
He gave her a 12 pack of caffeinated Pepsi and said "Drink up."
She said that she wanted to shoot herself in the face.
He gave her a water gun, put her finger on the trigger,
aimed it at her face, and helped her pull the trigger.
She said that she wanted to cut herself.
He took a Polaroid of her, handed it to her
along with scissors, and had her cut it up.
She said that she wanted to see her blood.
He took her to get her ears pierced.
She said that she wanted to cry herself to sleep.
He had her watch a sad, romantic movie before bed.
She said that she wanted to be alone.
He gave her a name tag that said "My Name Is: Alone."
She said that she wanted to have someone there to take care of her, always.
He asked when he wasn't.

This November.

I've probably just found out the most exciting news ever.

I'm not going to say what it is though, in case I jinx it.

I'm not really sure how to prepare for it. I guess all I can really do is just be me.

I hope thats enough.

My mother is all for it, which I knew she would be.

My father on the other hand never agrees with these kinds of things.

I can see the disappointment in his face every time I don't want to have a generic job.

Oh well, I'm not going to let this get me down this time.

youtube.

I watch WAY too many youtube videos.

I need to start filtering my subscriptions. I have too many.

A Big World

"There's a big fucking world out there. It's messy, and it's chaotic, and it's never ever the thing you'd expect. It's OK to be scared but you cannot allow your fears to turn you into an asshole, not when it comes to the people that really love you."

-In the Land of Women

Sigh of relief.

That was a lie.
She didn't me a job.
WTF.
I honestly almost had a heart attack.
I hate my life.

but I do have a Chai Latte. Although the girl working didn't fill it up all the way.

On another note, tomorrow is silent day. You're supposed to be silent for a portion of the day for all of the unborn babies due to abortion. If I told my friend's they would laugh in my face, so I probably wont be able to do it.

uhhhh

My mom just went to Coffee Culture and came back with a Chai Latte & a job for me.
My throat is closing up.. that should not be happening... right?

Ticket

My parents have just told me that if/when I graduate from University, they will buy me a round trip ticket to Europe.
Speechless.
Although I didn't show my excitement (because every time they talk about school I kind of shut down), I'm a bit motivated, I suppose.

I feel like that ^^ was a terrible sentence.

ugh.

Dear you.
This is my second year of grade 12.
It doesn't matter anymore.
I'm doing better than last year.
so just FUCK OFF.
kthanks.

What IF?!

Lately, I've been thinking "what if".
Just what if ..

What if there wasn't a miscarriage. What if they had gotten to him sooner. What if I wasn't in that tree house. What if we had kept in touch. What if she hadn't gotten sick. What if that fire never happened. What if I had won that season. What if I switched to a travel team. What if high school girls didn't have long hair. What if I said yes to you. What if I didn't say yes to you. What if she hadn't told me I was good, REALLY good. What if I didn't go to that audition. What if I was louder. What if she wasn't there too. What if she didn't like my socks. What if I hadn't kept with it. What if I wasn't tall. What if you hadn't tried to impress us. What if she didn't date him. What if he had come back to visit. What if I had given in to your dare. What if you hadn't introduced me to all of them. What if I didn't have a job that summer. What if I had stayed away from him. What if I hadn't drank that much. What if she wasn't there. What if I had drank more. What if I didn't try it. What if I didn't tell her about him. What if I passed. What if I had walked to the corner at 3 in the morning. What if I didn't push everyone away. What if I didn't play along. What if she didn't have that accident. What if I hadn't ignored him. What if I wasn't so quiet. What if he hadn't moved. What if he got that job. What if we had moved. What if we had moved further. What if they didn't get that dog. What if they had said I couldn't go. What if I didn't feel bad for the little one.What if I had let him finish what he had started. What if I didn't forgive. What if I forgot. What if I had confessed. What if I wasn't that friend. What if I wasn't so bored and had nothing to do that I didn't dwell on the past all the time and write stupid blogs like this?

HAAA!
I had way more what ifs, but I got rid of most of them.

Thanksgiving,

Well. I always kind of wondered what it was going to be like as a vegetarian on big holidays.
Last night was my first one. There was a lot of : "its only the juice", "Brooke, want some turkey? Oh wait.". This made it kind of annoying. Especially when my Grandmother called me crazy because I wouldn't eat the stuffing because it was cooked inside the turkey. Oh well.
My grandfather and dad seem to be the same person. They've both asked me this weekend how long this vegetarian thing is going to last. I told them I didn't know.
I've decided I'll probably go no less than a year.

I keep changing my mind about my hair. I'm so schizo.

Speaking of Schizophrenics, apparently Oprah had an interview with the youngest one. She's 7.
Check this interview out. Its intense.
the other parts are in the side.

I need them for my good song and voice

So I watch youtube videos. Like.. a LOT of youtube videos. I'm subscribed to 237 people who like to entertain in some way, shape, or form. Recently a youtuber I follow on Twitter just stated this :

"Why has this got 5 million views, she's not even pretty!"

That annoys me for a few reasons.
1. She's a unique pretty.
2. She's been making youtube videos WAY longer than she has.
3. I find this girl hysterical.
4. She may or may not have the same name as me..

Without further ado.
Say hello.

Hair, Biology, and Bringing People Down

So here's the deal. I'm kind of in LOVE with Kirsten Stewarts new hair. She's cut and dyed it for her new role as Joan Jett in The Runaways. WHICH by the way, I cannot WAIT to see. I think I'd like a version of her hair. But not as the mullet. I'd want the layers at the top a bit longer. She's gorgeous. Argh, I kind of idolize her. Not because of Twilight and all that. I could care less. I just think she's fantastic. She's got a this-is-me-and-i-don't-give-a-shit-what-you-think-about-me attitude. She's also got a body to DIE for. Anyway, While looking this hairstyle up, I've noticed a lot of people don't like it. I actually just don't know why, I'm in love with it.

On a different note. I'm pretty stoked that I got a sticker on my test today in Biology. I know it doesn't seem like a big deal, but that means I got a high mark on my Bio test. WHICH HAS NEVER HAPPENED WITH SHEARD! Go Brooke, Go Brooke. *does a victory dance*.

I'm supposed to go out for lunch tomorrow with Allen & Dalton at the Chinese food place, I'm not sure if I'm going to. I might just give in and do my world issues homework. I'm slacking off terribly in that class. Schinkel basically told me I should drop it because its going to go on my transcript. Little does she know I'd love to drop it, but I'm waiting for Reid. Today she stated, "I hope I'm not like that teacher in Charlie Brown." The moment she left the room I turned around and talked to Drew & Aaron about how she is EXACTLY that. Dalton is slacking in that class too. She's told him that he is "bringing down the people around him". By people she means me. Since I'm with him just about the whole school day except 1st period. I'VE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD. Seriously. It was just funny.

Go listen to this song right now.

I've been addicted all week. Since the week started yesterday.. well since Saturday. I'm not sure if I already posted it or not. But if I did, its worth another listen.

Alright, I'm dying of sleep deprivation.

Goodnight World.

x

Days Until Birthday - 64

I felt you in my life before I even thought you.

Tegan and Sara make some damn good lyrics.

I need to find a hair cut I like. It will probably include bangs, and this would be a problem.
Why? Because I always end up hating my bangs and wishing I didn't have them. I always end up wantin my hair like Ashlee Simpson's. When I say always, I mean like since grade 8 almost every picture I have showed my hair dresser is of her hair. Her bangs look shit half the time on her anyway. Fuck it, I'll probably get bangs.

I'm 6 pictures away from my 100th DB picture. I need to think of something special and get pretty and make a fun picture.

All I drink is Chocolate Milk & Tea lately. I always seem to drink tea about this time in the year, probably because I always seem to have a cold about now. Speaking of which, my cold is getting worse every time I wake up.

Its 3:30 am. I really need to go to bed. I'm losing my voice. Its terrible.

I'm going to watch a movie and sleep forever.
Goodnight.

Days till my Birthday - 65.

Colds & Brothers

I have swine flu.
JUST KIDDING.
I don't believe in Swine Flu.
I've just got a cold. Its getting worse, its radical.
Zach "stole" my nose today.
This resulted in him getting snot on his hand.
Gross.

I was supposed to see Blood Brothers tonight. I'm not anymore though, and who knows if I'll be able to see it now.

Allen is on my bench. Time for Tim Hortons.

The Lesson

When my school won the District Sears Drama Festival in 2007, we moved on to Regionals in Brantford, On.

My teacher had a blog for what went on during the trip.

Here's the LINK.

Good times had by all, I miss it loads.

Brook Hebbourn Vs. Brooke Hepburn

Well, I figure I might as well do a quiz. Don't worry, I'll try my best to pick the least lame one out there, and answer them with more than one word. Alright, I found one. Here we go.

Two Names You Go By:
Brooke
Brooklyn

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
Big black sweatshirt
Red Christmas PJ's

Two songs you love right now:
CrushCrushCrush - Paramore
Skinny Love - Bon Iver

Two people you idolize:
Audrey Hepburn
Keith Moon

Two friends you can’t live without:
My best ones.
I'm not picking two.

Two Things You Want in a Relationship:
Comedy
Loyalty

Two of Your Favorite Things to do:
Baseball
Theatre

Two people you care a lot about:
Family
Friends

Two people you could care less about:
Terrorists.
I know that isn't two, but come on, who needs them?

Two great times in your life:
Quebec City
Cape Cod

Two Things You Want Very Badly At The Moment:
To Travel.
To ace Bio.

Two things your doing tonight:
Studying Bio
sleeping

Two pets you had/have:
4 Cats
1 Dog
I know technically that's five, but its the kind that counts.

Two Favourite Colors:
Purple
Blue

Two people who will fill this out:
Whoever possibly reads my blog

Two things you want in your future:
To travel the world.
To have a big family.

Two people that live in your house:
Kelly (mother)
Greg (father)

Two things you ate today:
Vegetarian Lasagna
Scone


Two favorite holidays:
Halloween
Christmas

Two favorite beverages:
Chocolate Milk
Vitamin Water XXX

Does your boyfriend give you weird nicknames?
No Boyfriend = no weird nicknames. ;)

What’s your real name?
Brooke

Do you appreciate it?
Yes, as much as I always ask my parents why I wasn't named differently, I do love my name.

What is your full name as it appears on your birth certificate?
Brooke Amanda Hepburn

Do you prefer your middle/second name to your first name?
They both have their pros and cons.
Amanda has more nicknames, but is more common.
Brooke has virtually no short forms, but is less common.

Has anyone ever made fun of your last name?
Brooke "Hempburner". A teacher called me that once. Apparently, I'm a large stoner.

Does anyone ever misspell your name?
My alias is Brook Hebbourn.

What month were you born in?
Decemberrrrrr <3

Does this month suit you?
Yes, I'd say so. Through and through.

Were you late or premature?
14 days late. I was supposed to be born in November.

How did you celebrate your last birthday?
Oh wow. I can't even remember. Dinner with the family I assume.

Do you still live in your hometown?
Yes, Good Ol' Ridgeway.

What kind of town is it?
Its a small town. I love it.

Is it famous?
Not really. We did have a war here though.

What does your voice sound like?
I sound like me.

How much do you care about your clothes?
enough to treat them well.

x

Cassie

As much as I feel I identify with Effy out of most of the Skins characters, in some ways I feel like Cassie a lot of the time. I love her. She's messed up, but she's lovely.

I like things that I like.

If you’re watching this, then I’m already dead. Wow. Just joking Dr. Stock. So. This is my face. This is my other face. This is my name, and this is my therapy video. Abracadabra! Wow. I like…boys on swings, and girls on skateboards. I like babies in high chairs. I like pharmaceutical medicine wrappers. I like people in hats with big eyebrows – I like people in hats with big eyebrows and big moustaches. I like water caught in spiders’ webs. I like wearing all my clothes at once. I like people who don’t smile. Ever. And I like people who smile. I like hair that goes on and on. I love food. Today, Ainsley, I’ve brought some things for the cook to cook. In some ways I love…everything. It’s less…less of a thing than 'like'…less distinct. Less…particular. I like things that I like but I love everything. There’s more choice than ‘like’. Because even the worst things have things to love in them. I love things so much I feel like I could float away. That’s wrong. My mum understands how to float every day. I don’t understand that so much. I don’t know what you mean about things I hate. I hate shoes. I hate people who change their voices when they say something important. I hate my thighs. I hate war. I hate swimming costumes that cling. I hate dripping taps. But…I also sort of love dripping taps. I hate invitations. I hate radiators. I hate this. Wow. Sorry, Dr. Stock.