Christmas Eve

Well, last night was a party.
It could've ended badly, but hopefully I stayed away enough.

All I can say is while being that drunk, I have more self control than I thought.
Hopefully we're all good.

I hate being bet on.

Last night I was told I looked better as a brunette. I have more fun as a red head though.

Its Christmas Eve, I'm watching Its a Wonderful Life.
"He's making violent love to me mother!".
One of the many good lines.

Off to my Grandparent's house soon.
Happy Christmas Eve.


Days Tragus unnoticed - 6
Days till Crimbo - less than 1.

x

Sleeping Under Stars.

Well, you've almost broken me.
Just almost.

Its too bad Candy Cane hot chocolate is only a seasonal thing.
Tonight is the kind of night where I wish it was warm out so I could sleep under the stars.

Days Tragus unnoticed - 4
Days till Christmas - 3

3 days

Another day goes by, and the tragus is still unnoticed.
Day count - 3 days.

I miss watching Disney movies.
I need to finish Survivor.
I need to finish Misfits.
I need to clean my room.
I need to make a list of things to do in 2010.

QOTD

"Do one thing everyday that scares you."

- Eleanor Roosevelt

Rant

Oh, and a lot of this rant could have been from the fact that Brittany Murphy died yesterday morning.

I seem to have a lot of mixed emotions every time a young star dies. Last time it was Heath Ledger.

R.I.P
Brittany Murphy.

Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about you.

Beware, Its a long one..

Well, hello there.
I haven't blogged in a while and I feel now is as good a time as ever. I seem to have a bit on my mind, and I'm in kind of a funny mood.

Its one of those moods where you know what is bothering you.. but you can't pinpoint it. Or maybe you can pinpoint it but you still just don't know why its bothering you. I've got butterflies in my stomach, and I just don't know why. Its stupid really, is what it is.

First off, lets talk about this. I feel like I'm moving slowly. I feel like I'm not where I should be. Most of my friends at the moment:

- Have a job.
- Are studying in University.
- Know what they want to do with their life.
- Have a boyfriend/girlfriend.

Basically, they're all moving on from the stage that I'm in now. They're growing up. I feel like I'm stuck in a vicious cycle that isn't getting to be any different.

There's a lot of things that have gotten me thinking about this lately. Like how the other day my friend mentioned getting married next year. Getting married at 19. She said it would be easy for someone in a relationship to think like that, but not for someone like me who isn't in one. I guess she's right. I can't imagine getting married next year. To be honest I'm not sure I would be able to imagine getting married next year even if I was in a relationship. That thought is kind of crazy to me to be honest. 19 is too young to be tied down to anything.

I don't really know where I'm going with any of this. So bare with me. It might not even make sense at all.

My friends keep coming back from University, they all seem so put together. They've lived on their own for a few months now, and they have an independence that I'm most definitely jealous of.

Wow. Break in writing here.

"go for it !! your young only once !! go and live to your dreams ??
you only live once"

A boy just sent me that. Ah, he so knows how I'm feeling right now. I mean, sure he's most definitely high (because he's basically high 24/7), and he's already told me he's drunk. But the man speaks the truth.

"there's so much more than just here"

Way to rub it in that I'm STILL here. haha.

Back to what I was talking about before.
My friends just seem that much more grown up than they were in August/September.

I also feel like I'm being pressured for things. Like time is running out. I need to please people, but I'm not sure I can.

Friend wants to get friend tattoos. I'm a bit sketchy of that. I mean... they're like relationship tattoos, as a friend said tonight. She wants to get them as our FIRST tattoos. I'm not ready for that one. I want my first tattoo to mean something to me. The bird for me represents freedom, and growing up kind of. It also represents my love of travel, and the fact that it will be on my foot makes it even more about traveling. If that even makes sense. Also, she wants them before the new year. That's too much for me. I haven't even though all that much about it. I mean, I have. Maybe its not too much, But it all just seems so soon.

My one friend leaves for work on a six month cruise next month. I'm really, really happy for her. Its basically her dream. She deserves it, she needs it. I'll miss her like crazy though. I really hate that we don't talk that much at the moment. Cursed communication devices. By the time she's back I'll be done high school forever. FOREVER. Yikes. Anyway, her going away party is on a Sunday night. Really. REALLY!? A Sunday, knowing full well that she's got friends going that have school the next day, and parents that may or may not budge on letting her friends go. Ugh sorry, venting.

New Years, I've got so many different possible plans. In all honesty, I would be perfectly content doing crazy things on Dailybooth and drinking wine all night with some close friends. Every time I get out to drink lately I end up being in a shit mood because of some stupid reason. Honestly, the last time I think I've had a good time being drunk was probably in Quebec. No one fought in Quebec, and no one got angry or cried. Everyone just let loose.

I'm not really sure why I'm still going.. maybe I should save the rest of this for another night? Nah. just a bit longer.


So basically the real reason I decided to blog tonight was because basically I wanted to vent and say this:

Get off of your damn high horse. I don't know why you go through 'I want to be your friend' phases. Seriously, pick one. I now realize why she got annoyed with you. You're a thorn in my side. Bit harsh, but honestly, I'm in a harsh mood. I like you when you're not complaining. Quit asking me questions and shooting me down cause I don't give you the right answer. Quit assuming. hdsjfkajdsa. That's not even all of it that I have to say to you. I just can't believe you've done it again. Its ridiculous. I guess its all for the best though, I won't get yelled at for talking to you.

Moving on.

I got my Tragus pierced with a friend yesterday, as in the 19th of December. The same girl did it that did my helix. She's officially my piercer. She remembered us from last time, and noticed my hair is a different colour. (Its bright red by the way, I know, I haven't blogged about anything relevant to my life in a while). Anyway, Its a bit tender, but whatever. I like it. I've decided to not tell my parents and see how long it takes them to notice. Not that they care, its just a little fun experiment. I like it though, I've wanted it for a while. My guess is the first person who will notice it, will be my Grandmother. She notices those kinds of things.

I started watching Misfits today. Such a good show. Seriously, Why do all the Brits get the good TV? I'd like to start watching Dr. Who eventually too. Everyone seems to rave about it. Survivor finished today. I need to watch the last two episodes.

Christmas is on Friday. It came so soon. I finished all of my wrapping today.

The Olympic torch comes through my town tomorrow. Or today rather.
I need to get to bed if I want to go see it.

Alright, Well if you read all of this props to you. Sorry it was so long.
I can guarentee I'll regret most of it. I always regret what I write on here. Well not always, just most times. I need to get back into the swing of blogging. I also need to write a list of things I want to do in 2010. We'll see how many I get done.

Time to watch the last bit of Misfits, and then wait for Skins in January. I cannot wait.

Goodnight.
x

Number of days my tragus has gone unnoticed : 2
Number of days till Christmas : 4

p.s I've got a formspring.
www.formspring.me/electramayhem

Oh George

I can bet you any money one minute of a conversation with me and he will be jumping up and down wearing a flower pot and scream "I love to wibble all the way down the flim-flam of a Saturday night". - George White

Birthday soon

murrrrrrn says:
how was your last day of childhood love?


Oh god.

Just Know. You Know?

So there is a line in a movie.

Basically, If a boy ever said it to me I would melt and my heart would be his forever.

I shall never tell a soul though, the boy will have to just 'know'. You know?

Dinners.

I'm procrastinating.
I'm going to a dinner tonight with my friends.
It should be interesting.
I'm not really sure how awkward it will or will not be.
I guess we'll have to find out.
Its in an hour.
I'm not ready yet.
I'm still in my sweats and contemplating if I should start to do my script or not.
I suppose I'll just wait to do it after dinner.
I am not thick headed, just clever.
I'm sorry you're too closed minded to see that.
I am on Dailybooth too much.

Here is a video that has made me laugh today.
Here is a video that has made me want something.
I'm not sure what it made me want though.
I do want to watch the movie.

Sometimes.

Sometimes I think I'll end up being one of those girls in an abusive relationship who doesn't get out because she feels sorry for the asshole.

But then I realise my friends care too much to ever let that happen.


thanks.

500 Days of Brooke

So basically, Summer is me. To a T.

Thats probably not a good thing.

something.

I need something.

Or someone.

Just to hold onto.

fast.

I envy people who know what they want in life.

Sometimes I feel like I'm getting no where fast.

This Was Just too Good to Pass Up.

You: herro

Stranger: \

Stranger: /

Stranger: /

Stranger: \

You: snake?

Stranger: I

Stranger: No, I'm a T-Rex.

You: NO WAY!

Stranger: Oh yes.

You: you're like.. the last one left!

Stranger: ...
.................................... ............... ..........................._,-~"¯¯"~-,
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:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: |......"-,::::::::"~-:::::""~~~"¯:::|
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: |........."-,_::::::::::::::::::::::::::::/
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: .............."~--„_____„„-~~"

Stranger: Orly?

You: AHHH!

You: yea i think so

You: can i pet you?

Stranger: Oh my...

Stranger: well.... I suppose.

You: "pets the t-rex"

Stranger: =D

You: *pets the t-rex*

You: lawwwwwl

You: WOW.

You: i feel honoured

Stranger: hi

You: herro

You: i just met a t-rex

You: and i pet him.

You: jealous?

Stranger: SEX ME

You: REALLY!? ALL BECAUSE OF THE DINOSAUR?!

You: herro

Stranger: hello

You: i just met a t-rex.

Stranger: haha

Stranger: u must be joking

You: well.. i dont know. he showed me a picture.

You: it was on omegle.. so its gotta be true right?

Stranger: picture?

You: yea!

Stranger: by omegle?

You: mhmm.. wanna see it?

Stranger: mmm, ok

You: ...
.................................... ............... ..........................._,-~"¯¯"~-,
................................................. . ................__„-~"¯¯:::,-~~-,_::::"-
................................................. . ..........„~"¯::::::::::::::"::::::::::::::::::::: :
................................................. . .__„„„-"::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :"~-,
..........................................__-~"::,-'::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::: ::::~-,
..........................._______~"___-~"::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::: :: :::::::::::"-,
......................,~"::::::::::::::¯¯::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::,: |
....................:/:::::::::::::::::__-~":::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :_,-~":''-,::|:|::|:::|
...................,'::::::::,-~~"~"_::',::|::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :: :::,~ ':'-,::',"-::'':"::::::::|:|/
..............._,-'"~----":::/,~"¯"-:|::|::|:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::,~"::'-,:;;'-';;;;;;;;;;;,-'::::|/
............,-'::::::::::::::::'-~"O¯_/::,'::|:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::,-',::'-,:|::";;;;;;;;;;;;,-'::'-,::
............|:::::::::::::::::-,_'~'::::,-'::,':::::::::::::::::::::::::::::,-':'-,:'-,';;';;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'::::'-,|''
............|::,-~"::::::::::::::"~~":::,-'::::::::::::::::::::::::_,-~':'-,|:"'";;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'¯::'-,:',|
.........../::/::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::_,„-~"¯:'-,|;''-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'--,::-::|
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::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::",:::::::::::::"-':::: : : : : : |: : :::::::
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::",:::::::::::::: ::::: : : : : : : : : |:::::;;
::::::::::::::::::"-,:::::::::::::::",:::::::::::::::/| ,: : : : : : : |::::,'/|::::|
:::::::::::::::::::::"-,:::::::::::::::"-,_::::::::::|:/|,: : : : : : : |::: |'-,/|:::|
::::::::::::::::::::::::"~-,_::::::::::::::"~-,_:::"-,/|/::::::::::: ::: "-/|::|
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::"~-,__:::::::::::',"-,:::"_|/:|: : : : ::":/||
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::"~-,_:::::::::::"~/_:|:|: : : '-,::"::,'
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::"-,_:'-,:::::::::"-,|:||,-, : '-,:::|-'-„
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::,-,'"-:"~,:::::"/_/::|-/--';;:::/: ||-,
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :/...'-,::::::"~„::::"-,/_:|:/:/|/|/|_/:|
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: |......"-,::::::::"~-:::::""~~~"¯:::|
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: |........."-,_::::::::::::::::::::::::::::/
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: .............."~--„_____„„-~~"

You: cool eh!?

Stranger: wow

Stranger: cool

You: yea, i was pretty stoked.. he even let me pet him :)

Stranger: haha

Stranger: u want a real one?

You: yes :(

You: but i think he's the last one.

Stranger: why?

You: cause they became extinct 43824328974289472843272743248324793247 years ago...

Stranger: hahaha, u're smart

You: thanks, i try

Stranger: so wats ur name?

You: duckie.

Stranger: duckie? cute

Stranger: lol

You: i was named after the land before time..

More Omegle.. I'm sorry, It eats your soul

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: Hello?

You: hello!

Stranger: Alex?

Stranger: Guess not.

You: kristina

Stranger: Ah well.

You: good luck

Stranger: Sam.

Stranger: Mmh.

You: lol

Stranger: So how're you?

You: oh just lovely, yourself/

Stranger: Irritated at the fact that I accidentally closed a tab with an interesting conversation.

You: don't you hate that?

Stranger: Yup.

You: i've done that a few times (N)

Stranger: Mmh.

Stranger: It's very annoying.

You: i agree.

You: so whats up

Stranger: Nothing.

Stranger: Just sitting around.

Stranger: Omegling.

You: sounds fantastic

You: i'm picking out a new wig for my act

Stranger: What act?

You: my drag act

You: should i go bleach blonde? or fushia

Stranger: Hmm...

Stranger: Bleach blonde, if you're going drag.

Stranger: Over the top is hilarious.

You: short or long/

Stranger: Long.

Stranger: So you actually a guy, then?

You: Yep, what about yourself?

Stranger: Also a guy, but less of the drag.

You: you should try it. its fun. my friends don't know i drag though

You: neither does my wife (N)

Stranger: Eh, I'd rather not.

Stranger: I'm happy with men's clothes.

You: well, at least you can admit that

You: the bra is my favourite part.

Stranger: Mmh.

You: ever warn a bra?

Stranger: Faintly disturbing.

Stranger: ...

You: try it next halloween

You: sometimes it gets a bit itchy though

You: oh well, satin is nice

Stranger: Once again, I'd rather not.

You: i can deal with that.

You: so, you single?

Stranger: Yes.

You: ah yes, thats the way to go

You: FBGM, right?

Stranger: Huh?

You: .. fuck bitches get money

Stranger: ...

Stranger: No.

You: oh.. you from the uk or something?

Stranger: New Zealand.

You: WOAH SWEET.

Stranger: Huh?

You: i've always wanted to go there.

Stranger: Who doesn't?

You: australians?

Stranger: Well noone cares about them.

You: guess so. Americans seem to think they're pretty hot.

Stranger: Pff.

You: so whats there to do in NZ? any cool drag clubs?

You: or maybe normal ones for me and my wife to go to.. :$

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Omegle. Say what?

This website kept me up until 4 am. Brilliant fun though.

You: oh you know just studying for my OWLS

You: you?

Stranger: OWLS? isn't that something from harry potter?

You: Something from harry potter? uhh.. what are you talking about

You: he's like a legend at my school

Stranger: oh god. i'm not sure if i love you or hate you

You: quick! make a decision :P

Stranger: i love you

Stranger: Look, you sexually confused, spineless degenerate.
You : You type too slow.

You: hawaii

You: you?

Stranger: china

Stranger: is it ok?

You: sure

You: i'm asian too, i don't discriminate.

Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: I'm a mermaid

Stranger: hi

Stranger: forsaken mermaid???

You: yes sir!

Stranger: ok

Stranger: so sup???

Stranger: mermaid maam

You: nothing, flipping my fins.

You: you?

Stranger: ok.....alphabetically adoring a mermaid

You: awh, how sweet

Stranger: thnx

Stranger: may i knw whr u frm

You: the bermuda triangle

Stranger: okiii

Stranger: ok we evn hv connectivity out dere.........gosh???????

You: you bet!

You: my father is the merking, so he gets it done

Stranger: merking ??????????/

You: yes.. merman king

Stranger: i couldn't get it sorry

Stranger: oh......my salute to the king

You: yes, i'll pass that on

You: good night fair human

You are MY hero.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: my last boyfriend dumped me because of my beer gut

Stranger: I'm sorry.

Stranger: He must be shallow.

Stranger: Findd someone that will love you for you, not your looks.

Stranger: Find*

You: thank you.

Stranger: You're welcome (:

You: it might've also be because I told him I was turning into a man.

You: what an asshole eh?

Stranger: I wouldn't know if he was an asshole, although it wasn't very nice for him to dump you for such reasons. Some guys are just too shallow these days.

Stranger: Love should be through thick and thing.

Stranger: Thing*

You: I know. you think he'd be comfortable with being gay in this day and age.. he should've known though. I do grow a better beard than he does.

Stranger: You are my hero.

You: thank you.

You have disconnected.



I love people like this.

Butterflies.

I need to use this more.

p.s the butterflies have arrived.
6 more days.

Pretty

Please don't tell me I'm pretty.

I don't know what to say back.

Thanks? I guess..

I can't believe I didn't recognise you.

"So close your eyes and let me in. Cause baby I'm an alien, like you."



I'm glad you've gotten somewhere Sebastian.

Funerals, Families, and Happy Bonfire day.

Today, I went to a funeral for a woman I have known my whole life. She's been there every christmas (minus the last 4), and has always had little trinkets and a smile for my sister and I. It was a lovely funeral, quite a few people showed up. My cousin Amy read a poem, my cousin Matt read a bible excerpt, and Gina (pronounced Gin - ah. Different, I know right? Her name is actually Virginia.) & Talley talked about her. Its hard seeing someone that you've never seen before cry. When that one person cries, its tough. My cousin Amy fell apart before reading her poem. Thats when it got me. I choked up and my eyes started welling up. I tried to hold it back though, but my throat just kept getting smaller. Yep, thats right. I'm emotional now. Mary Lorraine was 89, and has had Alzheimers for the past 4 years. You don't really fully understand Alzheimers until it affects someone you know. Every christmas my family would talk about it. "She doesn't remember us much, but she remembered Matthew. She also remembered that she didn't like Matthew's girlfriend." Its crazy stuff really, but in all honesty its probably for the best. R.I.P Mary Lorraine.

During the service I started thinking about my own funeral. How morbid is that?(I've also planned my wedding, but what girl doesn't?) The first thing I thought about was the Church. First of all, this was probably the most gorgeous church I've ever been in. Honestly, massive high ceilings, hand painted ceilings, stunning stained glass windows, beautiful organ pipes on the walls (my grandfather was once caught with his friends, behind an organ in a church blowing into the pipes. Just something he told me that I thought was funny today), and lovely wooden pews. This was the first funeral that I've ever been to in a church. It was interesting I suppose. Too much singing and praising for me though. Personally, I think churches should be a wedding thing. My funeral? Well let me tell you about it.

Its got to be in a pub. Like on P.S I love you. That was perfect. Every time someone cries you take a shot in my honour. I better see some tipsy people because of that, if not you can count on me haunting you. There will be no pastor, minister, or priest. The service will be done by my closest friends & family. Each will say an excerpt on our lives together. Thats my favourite part about funerals. The stories. The stories are best. You hear of the persons favourite things that that person has ever done, or the most touching. You hear of nicknames, quirks, and their favourite places to be.

The service today made me wish my family was closer, they all seemed so close. Someone said to my aunt today, "Wow, so you're all down here for the funeral!". My aunt said, "We're all in Ridgeway. We don't see each other a lot, but we're all in Ridgeway". In all honesty, my family sucks at being a family most times. I love them all to pieces, but we don't really know each other. I see my dad's side once a year. Christmas time. Even though we all live 5 minutes away from one another. Its pathetic really. Christmas is quite possibly my favourite time because that is the ONLY time I see them. I look forward to sitting around my aunt's living room and listening to them all talk, cause believe it or not, I'm know as the quiet one in the family. Everyone is always talking to each other, and that leaves me sitting on the couch taking it all in. Occasionally, I get a "So Brooke, what play are you doing this year? Where are you going next year?" Those talks don't last long though. I'm content with just listening. Its what I do best. Anyway, Yes I understand that most of my cousins live about a province away, but everyone else lives in Ridgeway. I think the fact that we never see everyone has to do with my dad being the youngest by 6 & 8 years. They're all older, and have kids the same ages. That just leaves us out I guess.

Wow. This is retardedly deep.

Anyway, Gina lives in New York. She's actually pretty awesome. Americans are actually some of the nicest people I know. I haven't seen this girl in probably a decade or more, and she was telling me I could stay in her house when she's off on business trips. She kept saying, "COME TO NEW YORK! You can stay at my place! I'd love to have you. Just make sure you have a credit card though, and I'll take you to the best places!" Seriously, if I ever go to NY, I'm calling her up. She used to work at Tiffany's & CO. You can imagine my jealousy. Someday, I'll live in NY. When I do, I'm definitely going to try to get a job at T&CO. Talley, on the other hand, works for Abercrombie & Fitch. High up there though, she's a "buyer". She goes all over the world. In fact they had to postpone the funeral because she was working in Warsaw, Poland. She also told Casey, "Add me on facebook, I can get you A&F discounts."

Ahhhhhh, people are lovely.

We went to The Cheesecake Factory for the first time with my Grandparents for Casey's birthday. The wait took forever, but I think it was worth it in the end. My Grandmother was getting tired during the wait, so she was resting her head on my Grandfather's shoulder. It was quite possibly the cutest thing ever watching an 84 year old couple do that. I can only wish I have what they have when I'm their age.

Anyway, Its been a long and tiring day.

I'm going to look at universities tomorrow.

Laurier Friday, and Waterloo & Guelph Saturday.

Happy Bonfire Day!

&

Happy 16th Birthday Casey!

(L)

Goodnight.

x

P.s the 21st is growing nearer.

*gulp, gulp* :| (yn)

P.p.s Someone I haven't talked to in a while texted me today, saying "hey, you go to school in toronto right? I'z liiiike HAHAH, nope. Definitely, not.

P.p.p.s Birthday in a month and 3 days.

BOP.

"BOP BOP BOP, BOP TO THE TOP!"

Every time I usually have a song stuck in my head, its JUST that line. I don't even know the rest of the damn song.

I've been eating too much candy lately. I need to stop. I also need to start drinking loads of water.

This is tough. Why? Because I am one of those few people in the world that dislike drinking water. I've never really been a fan.

My sister is 16 soon. Crazy stuff.

For a month and 5 days we will be a "year" apart. I mean, not actually, but in number form.

Casey = 16

Brooke = 17.

Yep. Birthdays are a love/hate relationship for me. Hours before I usually start freaking out. Just cause I'm a little like Peter Pan I suppose. I don't really want to grow up.

Well, I've had a headache since I came home from school today.

I'm going to bed.

Goodnight.

x

This is Halloween

Hello.
I suppose I haven't really blogged much lately.
Not much is going on.

Halloween was last weekend. It was a pretty good one.
Its an odd feeling thinking that I was racing door to door to see who can get the most candy the fastest only 2 years ago. Then last year I went to a terrible party only to have the cops crash it, and feel most uncomfortable in every situation (worst Halloween ever, might I add). This year I handed out halloween candy while I watched Xfactor with my Father, and drank wine with my parents and the Johnstons. Then Becca came and picked me up and we drove to Swan's house. After leaving and stealing all the Reese's Peanut Butter cups that we could hold, we went to Becca's house. From there Marin picked us up and we went to crash this girl's party who we go to school with. This was awkward because:

1. We actually weren't really invited. Just Allen was.
2. We didn't know many people, they were all FESS kids.
3. The girl who's throwing it, one of her best friends, pretty much hates me.. I think.

We ended up walking in, and walking straight out. After leaving we went to the variety store for cigars, drove down to Harbourtown, and sat down on the rocks on the beach. There, was where I had my first taste of 151. It burns on the way down, but I can take it ;). 3 swigs and I suppose I was buzzing. Not for long though. Next was Becca's turn. After a lot of persuading, she finally had about a shot. It was enough to mess her up for the rest of the night though, she was tipsy. We then walked around, and after a little while we drove to Tim Hortons. I ended up seeing a girl whom I used to babysit/was on my baseball team for a few years. She looks so grown up! Its weird. She told me I looked a lot different too, which was something I suppose I wasn't really expecting. Mainly because I think I look the same as I did when I was 14, just a different hair colour.

Anyway, after Timmies we chilled in Allen's basement for a bit, and I went home. It was a good night. I'm eating Halloween candy at the moment. I've decided to try a Coffee Crisp. I haven't had one in quite a few years, so I'm going to take a gander. Here we go...

Well, its not bad. Definitely not my favourite chocolate bar. I don't hate it, but I don't love it. Time to get rid of the taste with a Reese Peanut butter cup. :) I like when you take the wrapping off the cup, and the bottom doesn't come off of the cup onto the wrapper. Its lovely.

Anyway, my dad just came home with DQ.
I'm excited.
x

She Wants.

She said that she wanted to get high.
He took her to the tallest hill in town.
She said that she wanted to stay up all night and drink.
He gave her a 12 pack of caffeinated Pepsi and said "Drink up."
She said that she wanted to shoot herself in the face.
He gave her a water gun, put her finger on the trigger,
aimed it at her face, and helped her pull the trigger.
She said that she wanted to cut herself.
He took a Polaroid of her, handed it to her
along with scissors, and had her cut it up.
She said that she wanted to see her blood.
He took her to get her ears pierced.
She said that she wanted to cry herself to sleep.
He had her watch a sad, romantic movie before bed.
She said that she wanted to be alone.
He gave her a name tag that said "My Name Is: Alone."
She said that she wanted to have someone there to take care of her, always.
He asked when he wasn't.

This November.

I've probably just found out the most exciting news ever.

I'm not going to say what it is though, in case I jinx it.

I'm not really sure how to prepare for it. I guess all I can really do is just be me.

I hope thats enough.

My mother is all for it, which I knew she would be.

My father on the other hand never agrees with these kinds of things.

I can see the disappointment in his face every time I don't want to have a generic job.

Oh well, I'm not going to let this get me down this time.

youtube.

I watch WAY too many youtube videos.

I need to start filtering my subscriptions. I have too many.

A Big World

"There's a big fucking world out there. It's messy, and it's chaotic, and it's never ever the thing you'd expect. It's OK to be scared but you cannot allow your fears to turn you into an asshole, not when it comes to the people that really love you."

-In the Land of Women

Sigh of relief.

That was a lie.
She didn't me a job.
WTF.
I honestly almost had a heart attack.
I hate my life.

but I do have a Chai Latte. Although the girl working didn't fill it up all the way.

On another note, tomorrow is silent day. You're supposed to be silent for a portion of the day for all of the unborn babies due to abortion. If I told my friend's they would laugh in my face, so I probably wont be able to do it.

uhhhh

My mom just went to Coffee Culture and came back with a Chai Latte & a job for me.
My throat is closing up.. that should not be happening... right?

Ticket

My parents have just told me that if/when I graduate from University, they will buy me a round trip ticket to Europe.
Speechless.
Although I didn't show my excitement (because every time they talk about school I kind of shut down), I'm a bit motivated, I suppose.

I feel like that ^^ was a terrible sentence.

ugh.

Dear you.
This is my second year of grade 12.
It doesn't matter anymore.
I'm doing better than last year.
so just FUCK OFF.
kthanks.

What IF?!

Lately, I've been thinking "what if".
Just what if ..

What if there wasn't a miscarriage. What if they had gotten to him sooner. What if I wasn't in that tree house. What if we had kept in touch. What if she hadn't gotten sick. What if that fire never happened. What if I had won that season. What if I switched to a travel team. What if high school girls didn't have long hair. What if I said yes to you. What if I didn't say yes to you. What if she hadn't told me I was good, REALLY good. What if I didn't go to that audition. What if I was louder. What if she wasn't there too. What if she didn't like my socks. What if I hadn't kept with it. What if I wasn't tall. What if you hadn't tried to impress us. What if she didn't date him. What if he had come back to visit. What if I had given in to your dare. What if you hadn't introduced me to all of them. What if I didn't have a job that summer. What if I had stayed away from him. What if I hadn't drank that much. What if she wasn't there. What if I had drank more. What if I didn't try it. What if I didn't tell her about him. What if I passed. What if I had walked to the corner at 3 in the morning. What if I didn't push everyone away. What if I didn't play along. What if she didn't have that accident. What if I hadn't ignored him. What if I wasn't so quiet. What if he hadn't moved. What if he got that job. What if we had moved. What if we had moved further. What if they didn't get that dog. What if they had said I couldn't go. What if I didn't feel bad for the little one.What if I had let him finish what he had started. What if I didn't forgive. What if I forgot. What if I had confessed. What if I wasn't that friend. What if I wasn't so bored and had nothing to do that I didn't dwell on the past all the time and write stupid blogs like this?

HAAA!
I had way more what ifs, but I got rid of most of them.

Thanksgiving,

Well. I always kind of wondered what it was going to be like as a vegetarian on big holidays.
Last night was my first one. There was a lot of : "its only the juice", "Brooke, want some turkey? Oh wait.". This made it kind of annoying. Especially when my Grandmother called me crazy because I wouldn't eat the stuffing because it was cooked inside the turkey. Oh well.
My grandfather and dad seem to be the same person. They've both asked me this weekend how long this vegetarian thing is going to last. I told them I didn't know.
I've decided I'll probably go no less than a year.

I keep changing my mind about my hair. I'm so schizo.

Speaking of Schizophrenics, apparently Oprah had an interview with the youngest one. She's 7.
Check this interview out. Its intense.
the other parts are in the side.

I need them for my good song and voice

So I watch youtube videos. Like.. a LOT of youtube videos. I'm subscribed to 237 people who like to entertain in some way, shape, or form. Recently a youtuber I follow on Twitter just stated this :

"Why has this got 5 million views, she's not even pretty!"

That annoys me for a few reasons.
1. She's a unique pretty.
2. She's been making youtube videos WAY longer than she has.
3. I find this girl hysterical.
4. She may or may not have the same name as me..

Without further ado.
Say hello.

Hair, Biology, and Bringing People Down

So here's the deal. I'm kind of in LOVE with Kirsten Stewarts new hair. She's cut and dyed it for her new role as Joan Jett in The Runaways. WHICH by the way, I cannot WAIT to see. I think I'd like a version of her hair. But not as the mullet. I'd want the layers at the top a bit longer. She's gorgeous. Argh, I kind of idolize her. Not because of Twilight and all that. I could care less. I just think she's fantastic. She's got a this-is-me-and-i-don't-give-a-shit-what-you-think-about-me attitude. She's also got a body to DIE for. Anyway, While looking this hairstyle up, I've noticed a lot of people don't like it. I actually just don't know why, I'm in love with it.

On a different note. I'm pretty stoked that I got a sticker on my test today in Biology. I know it doesn't seem like a big deal, but that means I got a high mark on my Bio test. WHICH HAS NEVER HAPPENED WITH SHEARD! Go Brooke, Go Brooke. *does a victory dance*.

I'm supposed to go out for lunch tomorrow with Allen & Dalton at the Chinese food place, I'm not sure if I'm going to. I might just give in and do my world issues homework. I'm slacking off terribly in that class. Schinkel basically told me I should drop it because its going to go on my transcript. Little does she know I'd love to drop it, but I'm waiting for Reid. Today she stated, "I hope I'm not like that teacher in Charlie Brown." The moment she left the room I turned around and talked to Drew & Aaron about how she is EXACTLY that. Dalton is slacking in that class too. She's told him that he is "bringing down the people around him". By people she means me. Since I'm with him just about the whole school day except 1st period. I'VE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD. Seriously. It was just funny.

Go listen to this song right now.

I've been addicted all week. Since the week started yesterday.. well since Saturday. I'm not sure if I already posted it or not. But if I did, its worth another listen.

Alright, I'm dying of sleep deprivation.

Goodnight World.

x

Days Until Birthday - 64

I felt you in my life before I even thought you.

Tegan and Sara make some damn good lyrics.

I need to find a hair cut I like. It will probably include bangs, and this would be a problem.
Why? Because I always end up hating my bangs and wishing I didn't have them. I always end up wantin my hair like Ashlee Simpson's. When I say always, I mean like since grade 8 almost every picture I have showed my hair dresser is of her hair. Her bangs look shit half the time on her anyway. Fuck it, I'll probably get bangs.

I'm 6 pictures away from my 100th DB picture. I need to think of something special and get pretty and make a fun picture.

All I drink is Chocolate Milk & Tea lately. I always seem to drink tea about this time in the year, probably because I always seem to have a cold about now. Speaking of which, my cold is getting worse every time I wake up.

Its 3:30 am. I really need to go to bed. I'm losing my voice. Its terrible.

I'm going to watch a movie and sleep forever.
Goodnight.

Days till my Birthday - 65.

Colds & Brothers

I have swine flu.
JUST KIDDING.
I don't believe in Swine Flu.
I've just got a cold. Its getting worse, its radical.
Zach "stole" my nose today.
This resulted in him getting snot on his hand.
Gross.

I was supposed to see Blood Brothers tonight. I'm not anymore though, and who knows if I'll be able to see it now.

Allen is on my bench. Time for Tim Hortons.

The Lesson

When my school won the District Sears Drama Festival in 2007, we moved on to Regionals in Brantford, On.

My teacher had a blog for what went on during the trip.

Here's the LINK.

Good times had by all, I miss it loads.

Brook Hebbourn Vs. Brooke Hepburn

Well, I figure I might as well do a quiz. Don't worry, I'll try my best to pick the least lame one out there, and answer them with more than one word. Alright, I found one. Here we go.

Two Names You Go By:
Brooke
Brooklyn

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
Big black sweatshirt
Red Christmas PJ's

Two songs you love right now:
CrushCrushCrush - Paramore
Skinny Love - Bon Iver

Two people you idolize:
Audrey Hepburn
Keith Moon

Two friends you can’t live without:
My best ones.
I'm not picking two.

Two Things You Want in a Relationship:
Comedy
Loyalty

Two of Your Favorite Things to do:
Baseball
Theatre

Two people you care a lot about:
Family
Friends

Two people you could care less about:
Terrorists.
I know that isn't two, but come on, who needs them?

Two great times in your life:
Quebec City
Cape Cod

Two Things You Want Very Badly At The Moment:
To Travel.
To ace Bio.

Two things your doing tonight:
Studying Bio
sleeping

Two pets you had/have:
4 Cats
1 Dog
I know technically that's five, but its the kind that counts.

Two Favourite Colors:
Purple
Blue

Two people who will fill this out:
Whoever possibly reads my blog

Two things you want in your future:
To travel the world.
To have a big family.

Two people that live in your house:
Kelly (mother)
Greg (father)

Two things you ate today:
Vegetarian Lasagna
Scone


Two favorite holidays:
Halloween
Christmas

Two favorite beverages:
Chocolate Milk
Vitamin Water XXX

Does your boyfriend give you weird nicknames?
No Boyfriend = no weird nicknames. ;)

What’s your real name?
Brooke

Do you appreciate it?
Yes, as much as I always ask my parents why I wasn't named differently, I do love my name.

What is your full name as it appears on your birth certificate?
Brooke Amanda Hepburn

Do you prefer your middle/second name to your first name?
They both have their pros and cons.
Amanda has more nicknames, but is more common.
Brooke has virtually no short forms, but is less common.

Has anyone ever made fun of your last name?
Brooke "Hempburner". A teacher called me that once. Apparently, I'm a large stoner.

Does anyone ever misspell your name?
My alias is Brook Hebbourn.

What month were you born in?
Decemberrrrrr <3

Does this month suit you?
Yes, I'd say so. Through and through.

Were you late or premature?
14 days late. I was supposed to be born in November.

How did you celebrate your last birthday?
Oh wow. I can't even remember. Dinner with the family I assume.

Do you still live in your hometown?
Yes, Good Ol' Ridgeway.

What kind of town is it?
Its a small town. I love it.

Is it famous?
Not really. We did have a war here though.

What does your voice sound like?
I sound like me.

How much do you care about your clothes?
enough to treat them well.

x